


say something (dont you love me anymore?)

by xoxonct



Series: the sad alternate endings [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with Sad Ending, Depression, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, jaemin is mentioned, jeno is an asshole, renjun is a sad little bean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 10:48:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14307039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxonct/pseuds/xoxonct
Summary: a story of a heartbreaking silence





	say something (dont you love me anymore?)

**Author's Note:**

> its angsty as shit man, i almost hated jeno writing this like wtf i created his character

Renjun noticed, he notices everything. He noticed how the love of his life was slowly slipping away from him. His 7 year old relationship with his fiancé was slowly falling out of love, not from renjun though. He noticed that jeno’s look on his eyes when he looks at him was gone. He noticed how jeno’s loving touches that used to hold him tight lost its warmth. He noticed that his kisses lost their sweetness. His engagement ring was constantly removed on jeno’s finger, he noticed how jeno cares less and less about renjun’s activities, he noticed how he doesn’t bother asking about renjun anymore, he noticed how he doesn’t care anymore, jeno seldom meets his eyes, he noticed that jeno doesn’t love him anymore. But he keeps quiet. He loves jeno with all his heart so he never had the guts to say something; he was scared of losing him, pathetic right? Renju knows that. Their apartment had lost its warmth without jeno, jeno was almost never home or should I say he is beginning to abandon renjun already?  
Nevertheless, renjun never forgets to take care of his fiancé, cooking, washing his clothes and etc, renjun never complains, not even once but he guessed he was not enough. They never fought, not even once, their quiet, calm and laid back relationship was slowly destroying them. Renjun’s heart breaks every day, a tear escaped every time he thinks of jeno now but he couldn’t even say a word to him, he knows that he is a coward and pathetic, but he did this out of love, his love for jeno had sewn his mouth shut. Was he right or wrong? Tell me.  
One morning renjun got up the bed was empty as usual he sighed and went to the kitchen for breakfast, “good morning renjun” renjun was surprised to find jeno at their dining table, that too in the morning, jeno wasn’t wearing his pajamas, he looked like he was ready to go out at any moment, renjun noticed something strange in jeno’s behavior, he looks determined to say something like how he used to feel, this is the moment he can finally talk to jeno about their problem and jeno might have good news and bad news too, he couldn’t really get his hops up, “can we talk please?” jeno asked in that calm voice, renjun complies and took a chair in front of jeno, he looks at him, jeno’s eyes were empty, something was missing from his eyes “so what’s up?” a long silence.  
“I cheated on you” renjun was shocked, shocked at himself for not being surprised, for not feeling a pang on his heart, he didn’t feel anything, he didn’t feel sad, nor angry nor sad maybe those feelings were used up, he noticed how jeno anticipated his response but renjun was so quiet and calm “oh….with who?” he slaps himself mentally for even talking in a calm yet tired response, jeno was kind of shocked at his response he knew that renjun isn’t the overreacting type but this wasn’t what he’d expected, he hesitated a bit but replied “jaemin..” renjun was still not shocked he just stared at jeno, no through jeno, on the contrary, he feels angry at himself not jeno but who could blame jaemin? He didn’t know jaemin that much but when he first saw him, jaemin was kind, good-looking and friendly, renjun feels even more pathetic comparing himself with a person like jaemin, he was way too skinny, too small and too boring he could never compete against him, no wonder jeno fell for jaemin. Jaemin was socially active and outgoing while renjun is reserved and introverted, no wonder jeno fell in love with someone else like jaemin, his boring nature bored jeno he guessed, no wonder jeno fell for jaemin.  
“so…..what happened between us jeno?” jeno looks down, too ashamed of himself to answer, “what did I ever do that displeases you in any sort of way?” the silence is heartbreaking, renjun feels tears welling up his eyes “I wasn’t enough for you? You never loved me anymore? Jeno what’s wrong?” he feels even more pathetic asking this, he already knew the reasons yet he kept asking him more pathetic questions that makes him feel more pathetic every passing minute, jeno’s eyes still doesn’t meet him, renjun was sounding more and more desperate but he was too exhausted to scream, shout at jeno and he even has the right to curse him but he was too tired, too tired “you don’t love me do you” jeno’s silence answered his question, he didn’t. renjun looks down, he was on the verge of crying, he mutters weakly “say something please…” he noticed a ring slowly placed in front of him, it was over now jeno was leaving now “I’m sorry I’m going to go pack my bags” renjun doesn’t answer, he just sits, he falls out of his frustration, anger and sadness and its tiring, he just sits there and looked down at the 2 year old engagement ring, the love on jeno’s eyes when he got down on his knees proposing to him, the way they kissed with happiness and, love, the way jeno holds his hands during winter days, jeno’s lame jokes that make him laugh due to its lame humor, when jeno cooks for him when he got sick and that food taste like raw meat, when jeno hold him close whispered “I love you”, the days jeno had loved him. Now he doesn’t even bother saying anything, nor explain himself let alone look at renjun, his eyes are blurred with unshed tears thinking of those painfully happy memories.  
He feels footsteps and a dragging of luggage sound, jeno went to him one last time, he slowly, cautiously leant down in front of renjun’s face, renjun doesn’t even bother pushing him away, jeno leant closer to his face now, renjun could see the guilt in his eyes but love was missing and the next thing jeno did broke his heart apart, he kissed him the worse part, love was missing from that kiss, a goodbye kiss, the last seal to the end of their relationship, renjun doesn’t even bother moving let alone push him away he just sits like a corpse, not even feeling the warmth of jeno’s lips he’s previously longed for, tear fell down his cheeks endlessly but he sits there motionless, emotionless, jeno now pulled away he wipes renjun’s tears with his thumb, kissed his forehead and whispered “I’m sorry I love you” he grabs his luggage and left the kitchen, then renjun hears the front door opening and closed. ‘I’m sorry?’ ‘I love you?’ you kidding me? jeno left him just like that, not even bothering to say something just a dry “I’m sorry”!  
Renjun sits there numb, he said what he had to say, now he is tired and exhausted, on the contrary he hates himself now for being pathetic and being a coward, it was his fault that he was a coward, it was his fault that he was too silent, that’s why he suffered, tears drip out of his face over and over.  
The house is empty, just like his heart, jeno didn’t broke his heart saying nothing, and he broke his heart with that goodbye kiss and that dry, emotionless apology and moreover, his silence.

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> how was it? please let me know in the comment


End file.
